March 17, 2003
Gothic News: Music & Tears: Bush's Friday Cabinet Meeting

(Gothic News Service, 03/14) The White House Cabinet DJ today was asked to change the music that greets Bush Cabinet Members before opening the morning meeting.

In recent weeks -- in the spirit of creating a "Coalition of the Willing" -- officials typically arrive and tap their shoes and shake their padded shoulders while Mick Jagger and The Rolling Stones belt out multiple choruses of "Under My Thumb."

The week at the United Nations, however, has been a United States' embarrassment and public relation's disaster. "A Non-starter" is how Bush's aides privately sum up the Administrations attempt to coerce and/or finance six practically bankrupt countries into supporting the British/US Resolution to eliminate UN Inspections.

"Jagger is no longer on the menu," Bush told the Cabinet DJ. "Unfortunately, all of us have to get into the spirit of letting Blair know that we are about to hang him out to dry.  Make the song as sad as you want."

Arriving at this mornings meeting, Cabinet Members soon pulled out their tissues, sat down and hung their heads over the table and listened to repeated cuts of Neal Young singing, "Helpless, Helpless, Helpless."

"That's just what I wanted," the President nodded approvingly to the DJ. "Helpless is it."

"I think he's a whiner," Rumsfeld announced. .

"If the shoe don't fit, Mr. Secretary," the President shot back, "Dont wear it. Let's Pray!"

Presidential spokespersons refused to confirm or refute the story, particularly whether or not Cabinet members were actually shedding tears. "We do not -- in any way, shape or form -- ever approve of or comment on Cabinet leaks."

(Stephen Vincent)

Posted by Brian Stefans at March 17, 2003 10:39 AM
Comments

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Posted by: Roger on January 19, 2004 04:24 AM
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