I found these poems (or lines of poems) in my papers, typed on index cards. I don’t know what I was planning to do with them or when I wrote them. Probably at least ten years ago. I recycled a few lines for “Provincial Hack” which appeared in What is Said to the Poet Concerning Flowers (2006). So it has to be earlier than that, Sherlock.

One set has something to do with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The others are little Raworth-style Language -centered ditties. None of this is genius but kind of fun to look at these years later. Surprisingly, no typos!

Below are all the links to the various texts that were written by poets and writers giving close(ish) readings of Kristen Stewart’s poem published last month in Marie Claire. If there are others out there, let me know!

Kismetly I Rear and Wonder
Kazim Ali
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/harriet/2014/02/kismetly-i-rear-and-wonder/ 

UCLA Prof Blames “Beatniks” for Kristen Stewart’s Poetry
Stephanie Nikolopoulos
http://stephanienikolopoulos.com/2014/02/12/ucla-prof-blames-beatniks-for-kristen-stewarts-poetry/

“My Heart is a Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole” (annotations)
RapGenius
http://poetry.rapgenius.com/Kristen-stewart-my-heart-is-a-wiffle-ball-freedom-pole-annotated#note-2781083

25 Points: Kristen Stewart’s “My Heart Is A Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole”
JD Scott
http://htmlgiant.com/reviews/25-points-kristen-stewarts-my-heart-is-a-wiffle-ballfreedom-pole/

Kristen Stewart’s heart is a wiffle ball/freedom pole, according to ’embarrassing’ poem she wrote
Hilary Busis
http://popwatch.ew.com/2014/02/10/kristen-stewart-poem/

Kristen Stewart, Secret Poet, Shares Her Art With ‘Marie Claire’
Tess Lynch
http://grantland.com/hollywood-prospectus/kristen-stewart-secret-poet-shares-her-art-with-marie-claire/

The The Kristen Stewart Debates: Poetry, Taste and Mass Culture!
Johannes Göransson
http://www.montevidayo.com/the-the-kristen-stewart-debates-poetry-taste-and-mass-culture/

Open Letter to Kristen Stewart
Brian Kim Stefans
http://www.arras.net/fscIII/?p=2258

Here’s a paper I wrote at Bard in 1990 or so for no reason at all concerning artificial intelligence. Surprisingly, it’s not entirely wrong, just not very scientific. Lots of spelling errors, too, but as you can see, it was written on a primitive, by our standards, computer.

How many people out there have the special, limited “Broken Glass Edition” of the iPhone?

Celebrating the ephemerality of the material and the translucency of the medium, this limited edition — a literal “delay in space” — is being specially authorized by the late Marcel Duchamp, an important French artist, while supplies last. Each phone is individually smashed by one of Duchamp’s spectral henchman doubles and is unique of its kind; no pattern repeats, and each is guaranteed to change through time with or without use of device. The BGE iPhone (the result of a timely recent collaboration between Apple visionary Steve Jobs and U2) remarkably accrues greater value when it ceases to operate and is left in a corner to “breed” dust. Fifty percent of profits are immediately donated to Amnesty International.

If you don’t have one yet, I know where you can get one, cheap.